The following was recited by Roger E. Wieland, a retired veterinarian, over Skype. He was 90 years of age at the time of recording.
The horse and mule live thirty years
And nothing know of wines and beers;
The goat and sheep at twenty die,
With never a taste of scotch or rye;
The cow drinks water by the ton,
And at eighteen is mostly done.
Without the aid of rum or gin
The dog at fifteen cashes in;
The cat in milk and water soaks,
And then at twelve years old it croaks;
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs and dies at ten;
All animals are strictly dry;
They sinless live and swiftly die.
While sinful, gleeful, rum-soaked men
Survive for three score years and ten.
And some of us – a mighty few –
Stay pickled ’till we’re ninety-two.
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Not much to say about this one except it is well worth your time to view it. Obviously going shirtless was the right choice here.