The following was recited by Roger E. Wieland, a retired veterinarian, over Skype. He was 90 years of age at the time of recording.
The horse and mule live thirty years
And nothing know of wines and beers;
The goat and sheep at twenty die,
With never a taste of scotch or rye;
The cow drinks water by the ton,
And at eighteen is mostly done.
Without the aid of rum or gin
The dog at fifteen cashes in;
The cat in milk and water soaks,
And then at twelve years old it croaks;
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs and dies at ten;
All animals are strictly dry;
They sinless live and swiftly die.
While sinful, gleeful, rum-soaked men
Survive for three score years and ten.
And some of us – a mighty few –
Stay pickled ’till we’re ninety-two.
If you could not tell form the extensive branding, this image comes from theawkwardyeti.com. So again. The image above, about one toenail telling the other which way to grow… yeah, that one. It’s from the website theawkwardyeti. To break that into it’s single words, that would be the awkward yeti.com
Got it? Good.